Then You May Take Me to the Fair
King Pellinore arrives; he's been on a quest for a beast for 18 years and is a bit stiff from sleeping in his armor. Guenevere invites him to stay the night. Arthur arrives and introduces Lancelot who immediately puts Guenevere's back up by being overbearing and pretentious. Guenevere extracts a promise from three knights to challenge Lancelot in the next tournament.
Do you recall the other night
That I distinctly said you might
Serve as my escort
At the next Town Fair?
Well, I'm afraid there's someone who
That Frenchman's pow'r is more tremendous
|Lionel:||Your Majesty, let me tilt with him and smite him.
Don't refuse me so abruptly, I implore.
Oh, give me the opportunity to fight him
And Gaul will be divided once more.
|Guenevere:||You will bash and thrash him?|
|Lionel:||I'll smash and mash him!|
|Guenevere:||You'll give him trouble?|
|Lionel:||He will be rubble!|
|Guenevere:||A mighty whack?|
|Lionel:||His skull will crack!|
Then you may take me to the Fair
If you do all the things you promise.
In fact, my heart would break
Should you not take me to the Fair.
You were the chosen one, I know,
And I'm convinced that splendid Frenchman
|Sagramore:||I beg of you, Ma'am,
Withhold your invitation.
I swear to you this challenge will be met.
And when I have finished up the operation
I'll severe him to your Highness en brochette!
|Guenevere:||You'll pierce right through him?|
|Sagramore:||I'll barbecue him!|
|Guenevere:||A wicked thrust?|
|Sagramore:||'Twill be dust to dust!|
|Guenevere:||From fore to aft?|
|Sagramore:||He'll feel a draft!|
|Guenevere:||Well, then, you may sit
By me at the Ball
If you demolish him in battle.
In fact, I know I'd cry
Were you not by me at the Ball
As it is quite a nasty ride,
So, when I choose whom I prefer go
|Dinadan:||Your Majesty can't believe this blust'ring prattle!
Let him prove it with a sword or lance instead.
I promise you when I'm done this gory battle
His shoulders will be lonesome for his head!
|Guenevere:||You'll disconnect him?|
|Dinadan:||I'll vivisect him!|
|Guenevere:||You'll open wide him?|
|Dinadan:||I'll subdivide him!|
|Guenevere:||Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear,
Then you may guide me to the Show
If you can carry out your programme.
In fact, I'd grieve inside
Should you not guide me to the Show.
|Knights:||Milady, we shall put an end to
That Gallic bag of noise and nerve.
When we do all that we intend to
He'll be a plate of French hors d'oeuvres.
|Guenevere:||I do applaud your noble goals;|
Now let us see if you achieve them.
And if you do then you will
Be the three
Who will go
To the Ball,
To the Show
And take me to the Fair! Back to lyrics index