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I stopped a bit too quickly and Santa wasn't wearing a seltbelt .. |
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Well, now what, Mr. Nose-So-Bright? |
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My name is "Get Away from the Christmas Tree." What's yours? |
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Each Christmas, I realize that happiness is having a
large, close-knit family...... in another state. |
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Bob has a name for that tingly feeling you
get during the holiday season
Fleas Navidad |
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I can't believe no one gave us a crib. |
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On the first day of Christmas my true friend brought to me every
ornament off my darn tree! |
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Well, are you happy, Mr. Shortcut? |
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Okay, okay! You're the wisest! |
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Reindeer Tryouts |
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"Bob! You fool. ... Don't plug that thing in!" |
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Happy Holidays |
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Dear Ma, I got the job |
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Unbeknownst to most theologians, there was a fourth wiseman, who was
turned away for bringing fruitcake. |
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Right. I'm going to ask you again nicely -let go? |
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The day the Elves won the lottery |
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Where icicles come from |
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I couldn't find any carrots for the nose, so I grabbed this from my moms drawer |
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All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. |
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How to tell you've been really bad. |
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It's not worth it, Roy! Let's just give him our noses & let him go! |
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Santa's sexual harassment trial takes a dramatic change for the worse |
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Shit! That's the last time we stop for Mexican food! |
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"Oh great, a flat!" |
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"Nice one Harry, And how are you going to explain this to the kids??" |
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"Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" |
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"Would you look at that? They're making a baby right in the front yard!" "It's disgraceful!" |
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"It's not worth it, Roy! Let's just give him our noses & let him go!" |
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"Of course they're fake! I saw her at the snow cone stand yesterday." |
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"Damn contemporary, bullshit architecture!" |
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"I told you cigars were bad for you!" |
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"Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty and it was worth it!" |
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"With gas prices out of sight, Santa uses and alternative fuel source." |
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"I hate when the elves help decorate the tree." |
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"Ski Resort Pub - Childcare hitching post" |
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"There! Now our names are on the "nice" list ... whadaya say we move your sister to the "naughty" list? " |
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"Got milk? ... and cookies?" |
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"This is my new girlfriend, Kristin. She's a model." |
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"Eww!! A Reindeer filled my stocking!!! What naughty little kids get for Christmas" |
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"I have wings, but I can't fly. Santa's reindeer do not have wings, but they can fly. Can you explain this to me????" |
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"Santa brought me four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree! BURRRRRRP!" |
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"Now, THATS'S gotta hurt." |
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"Your left headlight is out" |
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"Love the new scratching post." |
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"I don't know about you, but, for the record, I did not see that!" |
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"What carol would you like us to text you?" |
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"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED
Apparently, YOU told Santa that you have been GOOD this year ... He died laughing" |
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